Like this:

On our first visit to Kamakhya, we window shop—visiting the secondary Das Mahavidya shrines (more about them later) and Parashurama’s Kunda. But some of us are eager to have darshan of Tripura, the main attraction. Her murti (form) lies in a pool in a cave, and it isn’t clear to us how we might gain entrance, so when a Hindi speaking member of our group offers to send us with a priest (panda) who had taken him, Aradhana and I jump at the chance.

 

Now two no-Hindi pilgrims and the no-English panda hired to escort us are on a mission. Just outside the back door exit to the main shrine, our panda stops and says, “Chicken.”

 

“A chicken?” we say incredulously.

He nods, “chicken.”

 

Aradhana and I exchange horrified glances. We have already seen that like the Kali Ghat in Kolkata, goats and pigeons are not unusual offerings to the goddesses here, but we are wanting a different kind of participation.

 

“No, no, no! No chicken! Veg offering only. Sacrifice of ego and negative mind and the inner beast.”

But he insists. “Chicken?”  

“No, no chicken. No non-veg. Offer flowers. No chicken.”

 

Finally he gives up with a sigh, and disappears for a while. Then comes back and leads us down the stairs that everyone else is using for an exit, brings us to have darshan of Tripurasundari.

 

Later we realize that we were standing beside a stand labeled “ticket” and no doubt the panda was asking us to purchase a “chicket” to secure our entry. Or maybe he went and did up a chicken on our behalf unknown to us!

 

At any rate, we emerge with full hearts, and profound gratitude for the teachings we have received that allow us to understand all this. Chickens, pigeons, goats, or any other rituals, or even doing only japa (mantra meditation) without “paying attention to that crummy person inside,” in Panditji’s words, yields little, and isn’t the real Sri Vidya practice.

 

The real practice requires sacrifice of the inner buffalo-person and the goat-person—an offering of the sub-human, and then, as prasad, the assimilation and transformation of those energies which are not to be killed, but rather, held in your hand and used skillfully.

 

Aligning yourself with the energy of a shrine like this helps to make that transformation possible, and I feel lifted out of old grievances; simple of mind; light-hearted, and profoundly grateful for everything in my life.

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